This week we are continuing with the theme of summer fun! Today we’ll hear from Margaret King, a Heart Mom, who spends her summer hanging out with her fun-loving son.
In the CHD life, sometimes it’s hard to get a break. While summer brings a brief reprieve from school expectations and IEP goals, we CHD families have our own challenges: from trying to cram appointments and therapies into the months when our child is off school to watching some of our children struggle with the loss of their usual routines and social outlets, navigating new extracurriculars staffed by people unfamiliar with our child’s diagnosis, and dealing with hot weather and physical activities that can be too strenuous for our kids.
Yet, summer is a wonderful time to experience new places and try new things that can open the windows of self-discovery, create family memories that will last a lifetime, and even increase skills for self-advocacy. Families living with CHD deserve, and need, opportunities for fun, exercise, and release from stress and worry. While as a heart mom, I’ve fine-tuned our family’s version of “fun” over the years, I hope to instill in my own child that “fun” is the adventure itself, not just the destination.
Learning Your Limits While Being Limitless
Multnomah Falls in pouring rain–silly us, bringing only 1 umbrella to the Pacific Northwest!
As someone with chronic illnesses myself, I want to teach my child to respect how he is feeling physically and mentally, and to know when he is reaching his ‘max” for the day. Some days he can go almost nonstop for 3-4 hours, and other days, he might struggle to walk even a quarter of a mile, depending on weather, whether he has a cold, or just has been on the go too much. Honoring this has been great for his self-awareness and self-advocacy in other areas of life.
But we got to see this!
Sometimes, it also means going somewhere fun when we’re feeling good, even if it isn’t “perfect” weather outside. This has resulted in many of our most magical days, because we’re often among the only people crazy enough, for example, to go the beach or Multnomah Falls in the pouring rain a couple weeks ago (and the only people crazy enough, apparently, to visit Oregon with only 1 umbrella for 3 people).
The ocean in the rain: maybe not perfect lighting for photos, but we had a blast.
“Off” Days Are Our “On” Days
We try to avoid going places during “peak season” due to hotter temperatures, longer lines, and crazier parking. Often going to a fun destination (like a water park or amusement park) very early or very late in the season is much quieter, cheaper, and all-around a lot less wear-and-tear. Last summer, instead of going to a bigger our out-of-state destination, we took a week off and visited several fun places within a 2-hour radius of our home…on the weekdays, when they would be less crowded.
Reservations and Expectations Are Not Family Friends…But the Unplanned and Magical Are
Pre-paid tickets? Big expectations? These, at least for us, create a lot of pressure to get a certain level of experience out of what often turns out to be a major expense. Lowering the stakes allows us to be open to the unexpected, and results in a lot less guilt or disappointment if the weather is taking a lot out of my CHD child or one of us just isn’t feeling 100% that particular day.
This past winter, we drove from Milwaukee to Madison, WI to see the holiday lights at the zoo. We walked all over the zoo, saw all the animals, and got worn out before the lights even came on. Sure, we didn’t end up seeing the lights, but leaving through the back entrance, we saw the sun setting over a beautiful frozen lake, and joined the people playing on it. Honestly, playing on that frozen lake it something I’ll never forget–and was probably far more special to us than seeing the holiday lights, after all.
To quote the late, great Anthony Bourdain, “no reservations” has become my motto.
We didn’t see the holiday lights that night…but played on this frozen lake at sunset instead
Fun, Fun for Everyone
Summer fun will look different for each family, and for many of those living with CHD and other special needs, that is particularly true. But over the years, here a few tried and true summer options we’ve found:
- Museum membership reciprocity: instead of buying several memberships to local attractions, we pick one different membership each year. Most museums, zoos, nature centers, and botanical gardens that sell tax-deductible memberships have reciprocity with other institutions, allowing us to visit several other educational sites per year with our membership–usually all for free. Some children’s museums also offer free tickets or memberships for families with special needs.
- Nature: We’ve discovered many county, state, and even federal natural areas and historical sites that have free parking and free entry. Many nature centers and parks have short (1-mile or less) nature/interpretive trails that are flat, easy terrain and often wheelchair and stroller accessible.
- Farms and farmer’s markets: Summer is the time to visit local farms that offer pick-your-own berries, peas, pears, and apples. We like these because you can go at your own pace, go early or late if it’s hot out, and of course, make delicious and healthy recipes when you get home. Local farmer’s markets are a great sensory experience for kids without being too overwhelming, and get us eating healthy in a season that’s ripe for indulgence!
- When in doubt…water: Swimming pools and wading in lakes are, of course, kid favorites, but going ponding at your local nature center, visiting splash pads, or just running through the sprinkler are great ways to cool off. When it is too cold for swimming, we enjoy simply beach hunting at local lakes for “meditation rocks,” “worry stones,” and other treasures.
A heart-shaped piece of driftwood, a gift from Lake Michigan
- Or animals: The healing power of animals can’t be overstated. Being out and about in summer gives us more opportunities to view animals in their natural habitats, as well as safely encounter them in educational and recreational settings.
- Library programming: Summer reading programs promote reading for fun prizes, but many summer reading programs offer free events for children throughout the summer. From constructing marshmallow catapults to storytimes and magic shows, to kids’ concerts and reading to a service dog, my son has had some great experiences right at the local libraries.
- Flower hunts: When my son was recovering from his 3rd heart surgery one summer, our activities at home were limited for several weeks, especially because there was a major heat wave occuring at the same time. That was when we started our summer tradition of walking around the block, going on “flower hunts” to see what was in bloom every few days. Sometimes, simple is best…but there’s nothing wrong with becoming acquainted with your local wildflowers and garden blooms, with their accompanying butterflies, caterpillars, and birds!
Summer with CHD has its own considerations, but it’s also the perfect time to find out what you love to do as a family, try new things, and gain important insights and life skills. “Fun” doesn’t have to be a big production or involve “big ticket” attractions–though there’s nothing wrong with doing those once in awhile, too! We’ve found that simple spots are some of the most relaxing and beautiful–and easiest for us to adapt to, depending on our own needs.
Margaret King is a Wisconsin writer who enjoys penning poetry, short stories, and young adult novels. In her spare time, she likes to haunt the shores of Lake Michigan, similar to many of her fictional characters. Her recent work has appeared in Unlost Journal, Verdancies, the Ginger Collect, Foxglove Journal, Moonchild Magazine, at art shows and in various other spots on the web. She was recently featured as Poetry Superhighway’s Poet of the Week, and is the author of the recently-published novella, Fire Under Water.