A Time to Gather (Mile)Stones Together: The Importance of Marking Our Days
As Solomon said in Ecclesiastes, “There is a time for everything–” including a time to celebrate.
Sometimes, it’s easy for the days to blur together–after all, they often fly by! I’ve heard my more cynical friends scoff at those who attach meaning to new year’s resolutions, or even celebrate New Year’s Eve at all–after all, they say, it is just another day. They argue that the divide between last year and the new year is completely arbitrary. What is age but a number? What is a birthday but just another day older, like every other day?
As a heart mom, I’ve learned that birthdays are more than an excuse to have cake and receive special gifts.They aren’t even “just” a victory–because every precious day is a victory. I’ve come to see birthdays as a time to reflect on where we started and on how far we’ve come since then. I’ve learned the importance of marking our days as a way of counting our blessings together–a “gathering of stones,” so to speak. Marking days with observances, as well as gathering stones, is a cultural practice that spans history and geography. Living in Nepal, I saw where people had gathered stones to create shady places for travelers to meet, rest, and reflect during long journeys. In Mongolia, I saw ovoos–piles of stones where travelers gave thanks to the elements for safe passage. Other cairns serve as markers for mountain summits, guideposts on paths, or memorials to historical events. in other words, they help us find our way and they connect us–fellow travellers–to each other.
Like PCHA, my son Kieran also celebrated his birthday this month. As a baby, I would hear about all the milestones he was “missing,” when in reality, he wasn’t missing them at all–he was just catching up to them! Now, when I look back on how he wasn’t talking by his first birthday and I compare it to the picture below, which shows how proud he is for designing and making his own birthday cake, I realize just how far we’ve come in the past 6 years. In a system filled with benchmarks for children–be they developmental charts at the pediatrician’s office or educational assessments at school–we in the CHD community can come together and celebrate our own milestones. Together, we can gather these blessings like stones and put them on the map of our own unique journeys. My guess is that if we gather our blessings together, they would look something like Swiss cairn pictured above, which marks the summit of a mountain. It’s no coincidence that my son’s middle name is the Nepali word for “mountain.” It’s because we knew even before he was born that he would reach the summit of his special journey someday and that when he saw the view from the top, he would know it was all worth it.
There’s a reason, I believe, for our tradition of sharing birthdays and other holidays with family and friends. A reason that can include cake and ice cream, but that also includes “a time to gather stones together” as a way to mark this day as a place worth setting another guidepost on the map of our journey. I am happy that, as a community, we are invited to celebrate PCHA’s first birthday together. Research, treatment, and outcomes are always evolving in the CHD world. As heart parents and as a community, I hope we will saying, “what a difference a year makes!” for many years to come.
Margaret King is a stay at home mom who loves spending time with her family, avidly reading, community gardening, traveling, and exploring the outdoors. She is currently working on a young adult fiction series and enjoys flash fiction and science fiction writing as well. Margaret has worked in the past teaching English abroad in Nepal and Mongolia, which she counts among the best experiences of her life, along with her heart family journey which she is so happy to share with our readers.